Tenting at the iPhone Store (or wherever!)
Author: Thomas Melbeck
So, like you, I have waited out in line to get the newest iPhone, and since I'm a tech reporter, I have an extra obligation to always have the most current gadget. I have stood, sat and slept in hundreds of lines in my life and here is a list of my most important "haves" and "dos" and how long you should plan to stand in line depending on the hype and type. As the saying goes, Fortune Favors the Prepared.
Here are my top 5 must haves for the serious line-man:
Have the latest gadget (the current iPhone, in you are in the iPhone line)
Let’s be honest, You’re in line because you have the newest (and therefore best) iPhone. People will not take you seriously, and you will look like a total doofus if you are going out of your way to tent out while having an outdated iPhone. Are you really going to put yourself through all that embarrassment? You have to start somewhere, I guess. What you will have to do is pay someone to sit in line for you. No one will know that you didn’t stand in line yourself for your current generation iPhone, and you can just pretend you did if they ask!
Warm Clothes
I found this out though trial and error. Unfortunately, there were very few resources available when I started staying overnight in line. Since it was a relatively new thing, you learn that the early morning tends to be cold and some clothing is better than others for being ‘in the elements’. It took me probably two years to accumulate clothing warm enough at Buckle (and other cute local places) to handle the cold Chicago breezes.
Waiting outside in the cold for hours, perhaps days, is a pretty niche activity in America. What’s cool: it’s a great conversation starter!
Have a ton of patience.
Sitting still for longer than an hour can drive many men bonkers. It takes practice and discipline to stay calm that long. Usually, my Facebook feed isn’t long enough for a half hour browse before I start seeing stuff I already saw. A quick tip: before an overnight stay, refrain from Facebook or Reddit for a day, and also find a few new subreddits to subscribe to without bingeing the all time top posts. this will give you a considerable wealth of content to keep you busy. Obviously Movies are a great way to pass the time, however, it burns up the battery. I, personally, own a half dozen power packs for this reason. I like to have spares to hook up a fellow line tenter if they fall to desperation. Not only because its a good thing to do, but a desperate line tenter will be a pain to be around.
Tent
To be Frank for a second, (don’t worry, I’ll go back to being Thomas) Not having a tent for an overnight is a BONEHEAD move. You will be MISERABLE having to sleep outside, AND people might mess with you. (Okay I’m back) If you don’t plan on sleeping, its not required, but there’s no harm in setting up your tent for a quick nap. Tents come in many sizes and clearly some tents are meant for group line tenters. These days, there are whole stores that have line tenting equipment that seem WAY over the top. You can get yourself an entire kitchen to make food over a fire like homeless people do over barrels. It’s NUTS that there are people that dedicated. (Boy, would I like to meet them. Perhaps I will be that dedicated in the future.) Unless you have a whole crew, I recommend packing as light as possible. You will have to carry your equipment if you don’t have a pal to swoop by and take it away before the doors open. Luckily, there are single person tents. Be sure to throw away those strange metal sticks. I’m not sure what they are for but they are added weight. (I double checked the set up instructions and they are called “stakes”.)
Food
This is a hard one for most of us. You will have to be okay with eating food cold. There are tons of options now that allow the line tenter enough calories without being heavy or needing to be cooked. The key here is to make sure you have plenty of snacks that will help you when your blood sugar drops out (it will). candy bars are small, calorie dense, taste awesome and bring you back from being cranky. I know its tempting to just throw your wrappers on the street, but just because the gutters are full of garbage doesn’t mean you should add to it, okay? Us line tenters believe in leaving it how we found it.
Top 5 do’s while waiting in line:
Write about your experience as it is happening in your blog
This goes without saying. Many interesting things happen while in line, so make sure to focus on your laptop or phone typing out what is happening around you and how you feel about it.
Make friends with the people around you
Between logging in timestamped events into your blog and consuming your favorite media, be sure to strike up conversation with your line neighbors. There is nothing to be nervous about. You for sure have at least ONE thing in common, you are all waiting in line for a new iPhone the day before it is released. You may find out that there are other gadgets in life to endlessly obsess over and doing it with a friend makes it much more meaningful. I, for one, love talking about my iPhone with my friends.
Have a buddy get you Starbucks
This one is usually hard because most of my friends are in the same line I’m in, and not able to get me Starbucks. I have a friend who has a girlfriend that is okay with getting her iPhone a few weeks after launch (she doesn’t have a tech blog, so understandable) so she is willing to hook us up with Caramel macchiatos or white chocolate Mocha Lattes in the morning.
Play your favorite phone game (on your current model iPhone)
I don’t have much to add, other than I mean come on.
Don’t waste your time!
You are standing around? WHY?! You could work on your free lance article writing gig. You could be thinking up a new story you would think is cool to see as a TV series, or an episode of Big Bang Theory. There’s so much.
Top 5 Gadget’s you should be staying overnight for:
iPhone
This one should be obvious. Being the absolute first to get the newest is what being a techie is all about. Making your pilgrimage to the Apple Store, setting up your tent, booting up your macbook in the brisk November air, days before its release, watching the line grow behind you, all these are apart of it. You and kindred spirits coming together, in celebration. It's so special. The bliss of seeing the door finally open. You are cold, tired and hungry, but you forget all of that as you shuffle in, feeling the warm bright white room’s air on your face. A man in blue is looking at you, smiling. Your hands are warming up, but become clammy. You want to hug him, but that would be gross and a little weird. you opt for a handshake that is a little less gross and weird.
It an experience.
MacBook
Basically all the same reasons.
Black Friday deals (stay away from multipurpose box stores if you live in big cities)
Big city box stores are just going to get you trampled under a sea of maniacs that need their plastic toy fix and big TVs 3% off. Also, there are rarely people with expensive iPhones there to talk to. They are also rude and call you cracka ass when you explain what personal space is. I felt very unsafe every time. I don't recommend this.
Sitting out at small boutiques is kino.
Concert tickets
This usually is only local indie bands because robots just buy up all the good tickets on Ticketmaster.
if you MUST have it, even if NOBODY else wants it.
If you need to camp out at McDonald's to get their shamrock shake first, do it.
If you have to camp out at FuncoLand to get an Atari console preloaded with every game, DO IT. Passion is beautiful. Dont let the fire inside you go out.
I’ll see you in line, guys!!